If you’re in a long-distance relationship, you’re probably well aware of the implications. People are going to tell you it will be hard (which of course it will), and might even try to talk you out of it.
However, if you care about someone, and you don’t care about the distance, perhaps the best advice you can follow is that you should always work to keep that relationship going strong. You want to keep working at the relationship as you would if distance weren’t a problem. The important thing is that you nurture the relationship.
By sitting by and let the relationship be, it becomes stale, and both parties lose interest. You have to work at keeping the interest there and keeping both parties involved in the relationship. It’ll be hard, no doubt, but it will be worth it in the end.
Here are some sage nuggets of advice that can help ensure that your relationship stays on track and both parties feel like their needs are being met as best as the circumstance can allow.
Have an end goal in sight – When you’re working for some goal in the future, it can serve as an excellent motivator to keep everything going smoothly. This goal should be specific, realistic, and within a relatively decent timeline. Trying to survive the long distance relationship can be a lot easier when you both agree that within a certain length of time, you will be together in the same place. If there is any vagueness with these plans, it doesn’t bode well because it feels like you are leaving everything up to chance. It’s that constant state of waiting that can drive a wedge between the couple and ultimately put a big crack in the already fragile relationship.
Keep communicating with one another – Some people would suggest that communication is essential in a long distance relationship. While this is true, you don’t want it to feel repetitive. So instead of having the same “I did this, this, and this today, what did you do?” type of conversation each day, go a day or two without calling. Text and email are fine but wait a few days in between really checking in on one another. This way, when you do talk to each other, it feels a little more special, more intimate. Also, when you keep the conversations limited to how frequently you talk to one another, you’ll find that you’ll have more to say, and those chats are much more enjoyable.
Make plans to visit one another – Naturally, you will want to make plans to visit one another at various points in the relationship until you have the opportunity to be with each other permanently. Sometimes that you can visit, and the length of the stay depends on how far apart you live, the budget you might have, and living arrangements. You don’t want to spend copious amounts of money on travel and other expenses every month when you don’t have that sort of disposable income to do so. Also, so that it isn’t just one person spending all this money and taking time off of work, you should agree to alternate travel plans. This keeps things equal, and it helps alleviate some of the pressure off of one partner to do all the traveling.
Always have trust – One of the biggest things in a long distance relationship is that there is always trust between you and your partner. If you cannot trust one another to remain faithful or do what they say they are going to do, how on earth could you be in a relationship? A long distance relationship is a great way to develop a stronger sense of trust in your partner and help you overcome any lingering insecurities you might have. Because communication plays a very large role in a long distance relationship, you and your partner should never feel like you have to keep your concerns to yourself. If you are worried that your partner will stray or isn’t being faithful, now is your chance to talk it out. Give them the opportunity to discuss what they are feeling and work out why they may be feeling that way.
Keep living your life – You might want to put your life on pause until your partner can take part in the activities you think they would enjoy, but you can’t sit by and let your life pass by. You’ve got to go out and enjoy time with your friends, go for that promotion, continue school, and travel! Your life isn’t and should be solely about your relationship. You wouldn’t put your life on hold if they were there with you, right? Then you shouldn’t feel like you have to do that when they are away. Oh, and think about it this way, the more time you are out and about, the less time you have to dwell on the fact that they aren’t there with you.