No matter how tight-knit or great the firehouse crew may be, there’s always that guy—the one who’s just a bit (or a lot) of a douche. You know who we’re talking about: the firefighter who leaves everyone rolling their eyes, wondering if he’s self-aware or blissfully oblivious.
Want to know if you’re that guy? Here’s a breakdown of five cringe-worthy behaviors that might indicate you’re the douchebag in the firehouse.
1. Wearing a Lanyard on Your Sunglasses
Let’s talk about the classic douchebag glasses move. Lanyards on sunglasses are a practical accessory—for old ladies at bingo halls. But if you’re rocking one at the firehouse, it sends the wrong message.
We get it; you want to keep your shades handy, but there’s no need to dangle them like you’re perpetually at the beach. Toss them in your collar or pocket like everyone else. Bonus points for avoiding oversized, reflective sunglasses that scream, “Look at me!”
2. Fire Muscle Shirts
Yes, you’re a firefighter, and yes, it’s a physically demanding job. But does the entire world need to know how ripped you are? Those skin-tight muscle shirts with cringe-worthy slogans like “Firefighter Strong” or “Hose Master” make it hard for anyone to take you seriously.
Even worse is when you modify them into homemade tank tops or crop tops, as if everyone needs to see your abs or biceps 24/7. A little professionalism goes a long way, both at the firehouse and in public. Save the sleeveless looks for the gym, bro.
3. Always Wearing Firefighter Gear in Public
Pride in your profession is great, but there’s a fine line between being proud and being obnoxious. If your wardrobe consists exclusively of firefighter T-shirts, hats, and hoodies, it’s time to expand your closet.
And let’s not forget the firefighter discount guy—the one who insists on asking for discounts at every store or restaurant, reminding everyone within earshot that he’s a firefighter. Here’s the deal: we all know what you do is important, but constantly advertising it screams insecurity. A little humility goes a long way.
4. Giving Yourself a Nickname
Nicknames in the firehouse are earned through camaraderie and shared experiences—not self-declared. If you walk into the room introducing yourself with, “Hey, I’m Dan, but you can call me Viper,” you’re setting yourself up for endless ridicule.
Real firefighter nicknames come from funny stories, unique quirks, or inside jokes among colleagues. They’re badges of honor, not something you slap on yourself like a name tag at a networking event. So, unless you want your unofficial nickname to be Douche, leave the naming rights to your crew.
5. Overusing “Bro” and “Dude”
Nothing says douchebag behavior quite like peppering every sentence with “bro” or “dude.” While these terms can be harmless, their excessive use quickly becomes grating. Imagine trying to have a serious conversation about strategy or safety at the firehouse while someone is punctuating every sentence with “Bro, listen. Dude, you gotta hear this.”
Keep it professional. There’s a time and place for casual language, but overusing these words diminishes credibility and can make you seem immature.
Bonus: Douchey Pick-Up Lines in the Firehouse
If you’re guilty of dropping douchey pick-up lines on colleagues or people you meet while in uniform, stop now. Lines like, “Are you a fire? Because you’re smokin’ hot,” or “I’m a firefighter, but I’d still let you light my fire,” aren’t clever—they’re cringe-worthy.
Flirting is fine, but respect and professionalism should always come first, especially when representing your crew and workplace. No one wants to be known as the firefighter who leaves a trail of awkward interactions in their wake.
Don’t Be That Guy
Every firehouse has its quirks, but don’t let yours be a reputation as the douchebag. A little self-awareness goes a long way in building better relationships with colleagues and maintaining respect within your workplace.
If you’re worried you might be crossing into douche territory, ask yourself these questions:
- Am I seeking attention in ways that make others uncomfortable?
- Do my actions show respect for my colleagues and profession?
- Am I prioritizing professionalism over personal ego?
Firefighters are known for their bravery, camaraderie, and dedication. Don’t let bad habits overshadow your contributions. And if you’re not sure where you stand, ask your team—just don’t be surprised if their nickname for you hits a little too close to home.